


Salvation

by blackm00n5



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M, Raphael is precious, Religion, Simon is sweet, protect these vampire children
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-18
Updated: 2016-04-18
Packaged: 2018-06-02 23:14:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6586774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackm00n5/pseuds/blackm00n5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You will be saved, my precious son.” She had told him, voice cracking. “God will not punish you for sins that were forced onto you. So long as you believe in Him, stay true to your faith, you will find salvation. “</p><p>Even years later, years after his mother had passed quietly in her sleep, Raphael wasn’t sure if he believed that or not. But he clung to the thought, hoped and prayed it was true. Clung to it like he clung to the cross still around his neck.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Salvation

**Author's Note:**

> Translation~  
> Que Dios se apiade de tu alma. Amén : May God have mercy on your soul. Amen.

It had taken two weeks for Raphael to return home after he had Turned. Two weeks of fear and confusion, trying to comprehend what had happened to him. How was he meant to go home and tell his mother what he was? What kind of monster he had been turned into?

He remembered crying, breaking down in his mother’s arms as he explained. He apologized to her, saying he was sorry her eldest son was now an abomination. Apologizing for being forsaken by God. He had tried so hard not to cry, had tried to keep his mother from seeing the tears of blood. But, she had held him close, her own tears flowing freely. She had rocked him in her arms like he was an infant again, and had pressed soft kisses to his hair.

“You will be saved, my precious son.” She had told him, voice cracking. “God will not punish you for sins that were forced onto you. So long as you believe in Him, stay true to your faith, you will find salvation. “

Even years later, years after his mother had passed quietly in her sleep, Raphael wasn’t sure if he believed that or not. But he clung to the thought, hoped and prayed it was true. Clung to it like he clung to the cross still around his neck.The rest of the clan thought him foolish. They told him he was a Night Child and that meant his faith in God should be abolished. They had laughed at him whenever he kissed his cross, rolled their eyes whenever they saw that his flesh didn’t sear from the holy symbol. But Raphael ignored it. He didn’t know if he believed he would be saved, but he knew that he believed in God. And so long as he believed that, he would wear his cross. He would pray before he went to sleep every morning, and kiss the cross when he said ‘Amen’.

* * *

Raphael hated feral vampires. With a deep seated passion, he despised them. They were a disgrace to their kind, killing and torturing without any thought to what they were doing. They disgusted Raphael.

And he hated fighting with them even more.

Feral vampires were always stronger and faster. Gaining extra power from the lives they took. Raphael figured that’s what caused them to turn to this, that the boost in their own abilities hit them like a drug and they wanted more. Raphael couldn’t help but remember his religion, that taking another’s life is a sin. Perhaps that was part of why he was so angered by these rogues, because he was so terrified that he was just like them. A monster.

It had been just him and Simon when this particular vampire found them.

Training him was often easier outside, where he had room. Where they could practice sparring without worrying about destroying walls and where he could practice his speed without crashing into anything. Though, Raphael supposed that Simon had gained a fair enough amount of control, by now. A small voice in the back of his head murmured to him, telling him he just liked the time alone with Simon. He ignored that little voice.

The rogue vampire had come from behind Raphael, had thrown him to the side before he had time to react. Simon was holding his own against him when Raphael got back to his feet. The rogue slammed Simon to the ground, and Raphael was certain he’d have killed the fledgling if Simon hadn’t rolled away from him in time.

They both ended up thrown around a few times, knocking into trees and being thrown into buildings. In the end, it had been Simon who killed the feral vampire. Had lured the now cocky vampire toward himself, only to move at the last moment and causing the vampire to impale itself on a broken, wooden beam. The two stared in silence for a long moment, their bodies knitting their wounds together as they stood side by side.

“...Impressive, fledgling.” Raphael said finally, raising a brow at the shocked expression that flashed across Simon’s face.

“Yeah. Yeah, that was pretty awesome, wasn’t it?” The young vampire said, the shock fading into an excited smile.

Raphael rolled his eyes fondly, shaking his head. He stepped forward, kneeling down over the bit of ash on the ground. He closed his eyes, crossing himself.

“Que Dios se apiade de tu alma. Amén” He murmured, reaching to grab his cross.

Only to feel his neck bare.

Raphael’s eyes snapped open, and he felt his chest tighten painfully. He groped at his neck, as if that would somehow make the chain and cross reappear. He stood, quickly, and spun slowly to survey the ground. He jerked slightly when a hand landed on his shoulder and he tried to ground himself. Tried to hide the terrified expression he was certain was on his face as he turned his head to look at Simon.

“Raphael? You okay?” Simon asked, brows knitting together with worry. Raphael swallowed thickly, then nodded once.

“My cross is gone.” He said, trying not to wince when his voice cracked. “The chain must have snapped during the fight.”

Simon blinked, and then his gaze dropped to scan the ground. When he looked back up, Raphael was already walking away towards the DuMort.

“Uh, hey, can I go see Clary? Since I totally rocked this training session?” Simon called out. Raphael rolled his eyes, but waved a dismissive hand.

“Go. Be home before sunrise, baby.” He told him.

Raphael went straight to his bedroom and didn’t come out when he got back to the hotel. And as the sun was rising - after he was certain Simon had made it home safely - he had crossed himself as he knelt beside his bed. And he prayed that both God and his mother forgave him.

* * *

The next three days, Raphael dove into his work. Paperwork and official letters. Correspondences with other clans and, when he had no more work to busy himself with, training on his own. His hand kept going to clasp around that cross before he remembered it was gone and his chest would tighten again. The others avoided him, tried to give him his space. No matter how foolish they thought him to be for remaining faithful, they knew that losing something important was painful. And they knew their clan leader needed his time to grieve the loss.

Raphael left the hotel’s gym about an hour before sunrise, fully intent on showering then curling up in his bed. The first sign that something was off was the scent. Raphael’s room smelled like Simon. It was faint, proof enough that the fledgling hadn’t really touched anything, but it was there. Raphael’s eyes narrowed slightly, and he slowly examined his room. He took a few steps in, and his eyes widened.

There, laid on his bureau, was his cross.

He rushed over to his bureau, hand hovering over the charm as if afraid it would disappear. He swallowed thickly, slowly picking it up. The chain was new, cleaner than the one that had been holding the cross before. But there was no mistaking the charm itself. No, not with his father’s initials engraved onto the back of it.

Putting the cross back on lifted a weight from Raphael’s shoulders that he hadn’t fully realized was there. That tightness in his chest finally eased, and it felt like he could breathe again, despite not needing to. Raphael’s eyes slipped shut and he let out a slow breath, hand resting over the cross to press it into his chest.

He moved through the halls faster than he likely ever had before, and he didn’t even bother knocking before throwing Simon’s door open. Simon jerked so harshly that he fell off of his bed, just barely keeping his guitar from smashing into the ground. Raphael stayed silent, watching him as he scrambled back to his feet.

“What the hell, Raphael, stop doing that to me!” He demanded. Raphael just stepped further into the room.

“You went back for my cross.” He stated flatly, examining Simon’s face. Simon blinked, then looked down almost sheepishly and shrugged.

“Well, yeah.” He replied, glancing up at Raphael from under his lashes. “I mean, you said it was your dad’s, right? It’s important to you.”

Raphael didn’t answer. He felt his chest tightening once again, though this time it was far different. Less painful and more thankful. Like he was going to burst into tears. He strode towards Simon quickly, and the fledgling looked terrified for a moment. Raphael threw his arms around Simon, pressing his face into Simon’s neck firmly and letting out a shaky breath.

Simon hesitated, surprise washing over him as he processed what was happening. Raphael was not hurting him, was not angry with him. Raphael was...hugging him. He swallowed, then lifted his arms slowly to return the firm hug.

“Gracias.” Raphael breathed out against Simon’s neck, slowly relaxing in Simon’s arms until he was nearly sagging against the fledgling.

A little smile touched Simon’s lips, and he was suddenly struck with how young Raphael seemed like this. Curling into him, melting against his chest and clinging to him. His hair a little messy, curling slightly, his voice hoarse like he was trying not to cry. Simon liked being trusted with this, liked that Raphael felt comfortable enough to let him see him like this. He turned his head slightly, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to Raphael’s templed, squeezing him gently.

“You’re welcome, Raph.” He murmured, taking the chance to nuzzle him gently.

Months later, when Raphael and Simon finally kissed for the first time, Raphael realized that was when he had fallen in love.


End file.
